2006-10-03/10:37 a.m.

i am so bloody amenable

when somebody suggests that i might need extra help or i might need to drop a course or i might still be suffering from the chronic dysthymia that i am and that it might be regressing/progressing in its natural and terrible ebb and flow into a deeper depressive episode, since, you know, winter is coming, just look at the trees, they point and say, i find myself too nervous to go to class, too exhausted to stay awake, too anxious to go to sleep, too busy doing absolutely nothing to get on with my life.

fuck.

every. single. time.

i hate high expectations because i fear i cant meet them, and i hate low expectations because i fear i cant do any better.

fine fine. ill go see psychodoc. but i wont like it.