2002-01-20/1:37 p.m.

dream? nightmare? fate?

well, i really must be in a funny mood these past few days. i have moved on from jagged little pill to supposed former infatuation junkie. a small step up the evolutionary ladder of music.

ok ok, so some of the songs on supposed former infatuation junkie are actually really good. i love that i would be good. but enough about that...

today i slept peacefully until about 7am. mahaha. its sad because its true. after that, until noon when i finally dragged myself outta bed, i was plagued with weird dreams. grrr stupid weird dreams about my future.

it was a weird dream. i was all alone. well, sure, i was in a room full of people and i was performing, but i was still very alone. i didnt have any family nearby, and none of my friends were in the dream. after the set, a guy came up and introduced himself. we ended up talking for hours at the bar, even though neither of us drank. after that, he walked my guitar and i home. we sat on the front steps of my apartment and watched the sunrise - i can count on one hand the times ive watched the sunrise - but we werent tired at all. finally, i went inside and he went home. i couldnt sleep at all tho, so i reached for the phone. i guess he couldnt sleep either because as i picked up the phone to call him, it rang. twas him, not being able to sleep either. we met for coffee then we wandered around downtown, checking out the tattoo parlors and leather shops. hehe - of course neither of us drank cofee or wore leather. twas weird.

well, it sounds like a short dream, but it kept replaying in my mind, over and over. over and over and over. you get the message. by about the 15th time, i finally got really annoyed and got outta bed.

guh...dream.

well the only remedy for confusing dreams and end-on-end confusing days is chocolate chip cookies. mmm cookies.

haha, when hell freezes over and i become a mother, my kids will be so screwed up. fat too.

bugger. i said when.

hmmmmmf well now im in a bad mood again. must go make cookies.

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