2006-05-29/12:23 a.m.

a thousand times i do

i am in the midst of finding the words to write a song. twill be about talk of marriage and stability and safety and trust and still being absolutely smitten wonders, if you like those sorts of things.

i do like those sorts of things, but i havent always, so i must ask myself to make sure. i like those with him, but i havent always liked them with him, so, again, i must ask.

with him, i do. a thousand times i do.

but not to worry. the uppercase, bold, block letter I DO was only in talk, and only in talk of the future, which i see as far off and he sees as not-so-far off. or perhaps its just as far off but that he is made of tougher stuff than my weak-kneed ambivalence.

but i am not uncertain about him at all. never about him. just about myself. i know that i want him for as far off as i can think about, as far off as i can think of but can never articulate, but i still cant imagine how he can want me for that long too.

however, i trust him. i do. a thousand times i do. for he always speaks the truth to me, even/especially in the ways that hurt. i cherish those ways the most.

all of that in a few short stanzas with a surprising melody and a catchy hook. i hope i can do it.