2004-01-19/6:58 p.m.

its time for a nice night in

with very little sexual misadventures, i hope, as my mouth is a cankerous and sore. shut up. its not from that. or that. or that. shut up, i said. some people grind their teeth in their sleep. i, on the other hand, rub my tongue against my gumline. painful after a particularily stressful night.

so yes, the boy and i are to rent the laramie project so i can curl up in his arms and cry. so many injustices in the world.

i was a political activist at 3am this morning. i kept dan awake with my hyperactivity and feminism. he had to write an exam today too. hah. sucker.

wait. i did too. did i write it? no. of course.

and if you make me feel bad about it, ill cry all tonight like i did this morning, because the scary trees are inside my house today too. which is why i want to cry and be warm in the boys arms.

ive been talking to a fourteen year old british gal about bisexuality. i wish i knew all the answers. ive been talking to dan about it too. i must talk to him more tonight though, for i dont mean to sabotage this relationship. i really dont. i dont mean to be secretive or manipulative or hysterical or lazy or sad. i dont. really. it just happens. im just so terrified of the world falling in on me again. and again.

ill be honest with you, dan, if you try your best not to be an angerball.